And so he stilled
by DoctorSweets
Summary: Booth is shot again and serves as the catalyst. Brennan finally comes to terms with the emotions she bottled up since Pain in the Heart.
1. Chapter 1

She was unable to remove herself from him. She was enveloped in his scent, his warmth and she was stuck to him, seemingly paralyzed.

It had been a particularly traumatic case for her. The killer had targeted young, abused children in foster care. Brennan was able to work through the entire case without flinching, but upon the killer's capture and eventual death, her compartmentalizing methods faltered. She had taken the kill this time and not Booth. As he tried to flee and as they followed after him, he found that he had been cornered. Turning abruptly, he produced his previously concealed weapon and wielded it sinisterly in their direction. She took the shot. The bullet tore through the middle of his forehead, causing brain matter to spray behind him and he dropped. The killer had managed to shoot once before Brennan discharged her weapon and Booth was hit. Brennan ran to him as he lay on the ground and began tearing at him. Tearing at his clothes frantically, wishing that the vest had protected her partner.

And it had. She ripped the rest of his shirt off him and began clawing at his vest. Booth was alive, struggling for air a bit and obviously stunned at his partner's reaction. There were no words from her, only frantic and desperate actions. Booth tried to still her hands but she swatted him away forcefully. She needed to see with her own eyes, she needed to view the evidence in front of her, in order to assess his ability to live. She knew, in a recess of her mind, that he was fine, but irrational emotions set in and she continued to forcefully grab at his vest until she met his warm body beneath it. She began to press against his heart with her palm to make sure it was beating. Booth stilled. Whether it was because her actions scared him, whether it was because the bullet literally knocked the wind out of him or whether the look in her eyes paralyzed him, Booth remained stoic and still for her. He knew that she needed to do this. He knew that she was reliving his past "death." And so he stilled.

Her hands began to shake, along with her body and tears sprang to life and were unleashed. She was sobbing and Booth felt his heart break and yet swell at the same time. A small part of him had always wondered how she could have been so unemotional at his funeral, once he learned that she had not been informed of his survival, after all their years working alongside each other. He always wondered if the connection he tried so hard to build was clearly imaginary, as she seemed so detached and aloof once she realized that he was really alive. But seeing her like this, in this moment, dissipated any of his previous insecurities about their connection. She loved him. He knew it, finally, and so he began to smile.

He just laid there, feeling her shaking body, feeling her warm hand on his heart and feeling the tears falling upon him and smiled. Brennan focused on the beating rhythm within his chest and her fears began to subside and yet she continued to sob. Her body wracked with tremors and all of the feelings from his first "death" came to the surface. Perhaps she would eventually blame her fatigue from the case that had abruptly ended before them moments ago. Or perhaps she would blame her sensitivity to foster care cases. Or perhaps, Booth prayed, she would finally just listen to her own heart and finally open to the possibility that he was the one with whom she was meant to spend her life.


	2. Chapter 2

"Bones. Bones, come on. I'm ok. See?" He held her hands in his and placed them firmly against his chest, his very warm and very alive chest.

"I'm so sorry Booth, I just, I just . ." as she began crying again. "I was so angry at you. So angry. You died for me and I was left with all this guilt and all this fear that my life would never be good again without you in it. And then I was angry at myself for letting you in, for letting you take up residence in every facet of my life. I was alone again. I had been alone for so long and you refused to let me continue on the same path I was on before I met you. You were everywhere: almost every meal, every one of my work days and then you even managed to become a part of almost every one of my evenings and late nights when you would just show up to my apartment unannounced. And then you died. I lived my life in such an orderly way and you were this big man with a cocky belt buckle and you literally dragged me out of my old life and then left. You left me in your world all alone. Your world is foreign to me still and without you there explaining to me when I'm being inappropriate or defining everyday colloquiums, I'm lost. So forgive my very inappropriate actions just now. I guess I was just afraid that I would lose you again. I apologize. I never meant to grope at you."

Booth was in shock. She loved him. Oh my dear God she actually loved him. "Bones, hey. You don't need to apologize, you can grope me anytime," he stated in a very earnest attempt to inject some humor in this very heavily emotional moment. He shone his full wattage charming smile at her and Brennan began to laugh and cry all at once. She was a vision, truly beautiful, and for a moment Booth actually believed his heart had stopped.

He forced himself up and stood. She continued to kneel on the ground until he hoisted her up by the arms and immediately hugged her. They stood there together and he waited until her tears subsided and breathing calmed.

_She was unable to remove herself from him. She was enveloped in his scent, his warmth and she was stuck to him, seemingly paralyzed._

"Bones, I am so sorry. I know I've said it a million times, but I never wanted to hurt you. I had to step in front of that bullet because I'm your partner and I needed to protect you. I could not have lived with myself if that bitch had killed you. Bones, I have to say," he began rubbing small circles on her lower back and she began to feel a very warm sensation in her belly, "in a way I'm glad you broke down just now. For the longest time I thought you didn't care. When I realized that you hadn't been informed of my death, I remembered how unemotional you were at my funeral. It hurt me to think that you didn't care and . . ."

"WHAT!" She extricated herself from his arms and glared at him incredulously. "Are you serious Booth? What so all these months you just thought that I was the cold-hearted ice queen that everyone else calls me?"

"No, Bones that's not what I thought. I . ."

"I can't believe you. We've worked together four years and you somehow still believe that I don't have any fucking feelings? Fuck you, Booth. Fuck you and everyone else. I have been in this partnership a long time and we have spent so much time together and it kills me inside that you would think that your death meant nothing. You," she poked him hard in the chest, right where the killer's bullet had hit him to make sure he felt pain, "you, Booth are just like everyone else. FUCK OFF!"

Before he even realized what had happened, she had stormed off. Booth willed his feet to move but he couldn't move. What the hell had just happened, he thought. His chest was bruised and swollen and Brennan's poke hurt as well. He took a moment and breathed, and then he went after her.

She was waiting by the car and refused to look him in the eye. He tried to explain but she refused to listen and threatened him when he tried to get close. He didn't have time to deal with this at the moment, as he had to call back up and give his statement on how the killer was caught and eventually killed.

Hours later, it was time to go home. The other agents collected and documented the evidence and body. Brennan and Booth did their part and documented their accounts, minus the very obvious personal details that bore no relevance to the case.

She was sitting on a curb and he approached. They were both tired and worn. "Bones, we should get out of here. Let me take you home."

"No," she stated with a icy tone, one he had not heard from her since they first began working together. It was a tone of detachment and unwillingness to open up. If her walls were visible, she would be a fortress.

"Bones, please come on, we're both tired and we can discuss this later. I'll just drop you off and then you . . ."

"Agent Booth, I have no intention of getting in a car with you. Our case is closed. There is no need for us to fraternize any further. Please step aside so I may obtain my own mode of transport. Good evening." And she briskly moved past him and he stood still.


	3. Chapter 3

Booth contemplated what had transpired between the two of them. At first he felt guilty that he had upset her and questioned her ability to feel for him. Booth was a true gentleman after all and he didn't even have to try to be respectful of women because his chivalry was imbedded in his true self. But Booth had been a patient man all of these years and perhaps the bullet he had just stopped with his vest jarred something loose in him. Booth was fed up and he began to approach a rather unsuspecting forensic anthropologist.

Brennan managed to secure a ride with one of the junior agents. She waited patiently in the car as the agent packed up his vehicle. She was angry and sad all at once, but she was especially annoyed for allowing herself to unload so much of what she had been carrying in her heart since Booth's death. She damned herself for giving into her irrational emotions and for not keeping a level head after Booth's vest was hit. She couldn't stop herself from seeing that he had been unharmed. She knew she acted frantically and so unlike herself that it scared her. She feared that Booth had somehow changed her into a woman less dependent on herself and more dependent on him. How could she allow herself to be dependent on a man? The mere thought nauseated her and yet she knew that she had no choice in the matter. She loved him. She'd discovered this the night he died as she broke into his apartment to lay in his bed. She needed to be near his things, near his scent as she convulsed into sobs. She screamed at the God that she didn't believe in for taking him away from her and cursed at nothing as she revealed to herself and perhaps a higher power that she loved him more than she thought possible. She was angry that she was unable to see this until he no longer existed. She prayed that her heart would break so she could die. And then she laughed maniacally at the thought of an actual heart breaking into a million pieces, as scientifically impossible as it was.

And yet he was alive. The difference between Brennan and another was that upon seeing him alive and healthy, another person would have thrown themselves into his arms screaming undying love. Not Brennan. She never did things normally. So instead of running to him, she hit him with all her might and ran away. She even told him that his funeral was a waste of time, that she didn't plan on attending his next one. And then it hit her. She really was a cold-hearted bitch. She never saw it from his perspective. She never thought about how it made him feel that she seemed to not care about his death. He never saw her laying in his bed. He never saw her playing with her gun, praying for the strength to pull the trigger. He never saw her break down until she was too exhausted to eat or sleep, but just lay there in a semi-catatonic state. Booth saw her at his funeral, shedding no tears and running away.

She had intruded in his bathroom but nothing of substance really occurred. She couldn't concentrate on her rational arguments when he stood there naked and wet, hard and bulging. No woman could possibly think straight with a naked Booth before her. She was a scientist, yes, but she was a woman first.

As she was about to get out of the car for some air, she looked down and found two large boots before her.

"Bones, we need to talk," as he grabbed her forcefully by the arm and began dragging her away from the scene. She was dumbstruck by his use of force, as he had never laid an angry hand on her before this encounter, therefore she didn't find the strength to unleash herself from him.

He dragged her into the woods, away from the few agents still at the scene. He managed to direct the junior agent to leave without her, as he would get her home safely. When they arrived to the wooded and desolate area, he propelled her forward and grabbed both her arms, pinning them to her sides. He kept her at arm's length but held her in place with force.

"How dare you," she began and he shook her once. "Now you listen to me, Temperance." She shut her mouth and looked him straight in the eyes. She felt an unnerving sense of fear, exhilaration and what could only be described as arousal. He was a gorgeous man. She had been aroused before by his anger when she watched him during his interrogations with suspects. A woman like Brennan was always in control, but his strength nullified hers and she had fantasized once or twice about being dominated by him. She gazed at him with smoldering eyes until she was brought back to this moment, the moment in which he began to yell at her.

"What is wrong with you. One minute you are upset and groping me, making sure that I didn't get shot and the next minute you are ignoring me and telling me to fuck off. I am sick of this shit Temperance. What is your problem? I was trying to tell you how I felt, but instead of actually LISTENING for once, you get all high and mighty and run off AS USUAL!"

High and mighty. What on earth did that mean, she thought. She feared asking so she just continued listening.

"I know that I upset you back there but what did you expect? Did you think we would never have this conversation? Bones, after all we've been through, you didn't even care to show any sadness at my funeral. You even had to be dragged there by Angela. How do you think it makes me feel to know you don't give a shit about me after everything we've lived through together. After all I've done for you. You tell me to fuck off, well you should be the one to fuck off!" He shook his hands off of her and turned away. His hands burned from feeling her soft, small wrists beneath his own. He knew he had crossed a line with his behavior.

On his second step, she grabbed his hand and turned him around with all of her strength. She pushed him against a tree and stood inches away from him.

"Booth. I do care. I've always cared. You must believe me. It's hard for me to show my feelings. You know that. Don't give up on me," she stated in a low hum. What did he see in her eyes? He was confused because he could have sworn he saw arousal, but he didn't think it was possible. He was angry at her, so angry and he had treated her like a rag doll, dragging, pulling and shaking her.

Her gaze landed fleetingly on his lips. She unconsciously licked her own. Booth was startled by her actions and grew even dizzier by her close proximity. This woman smelled so good to him and the heat radiating from her body sent his thoughts to the primal part of his brain. Booth was an alpha-male to the core and he smelled her arousal on an unconscious level. He grew hard instantly. Bones liked it rough, apparently.

His body was reacting solely on adrenaline and his hormones, but in one swift movement, he had managed to spin her around and press her against the tree. His leg moved in between her legs and he shifted upwards, connecting with her core.

Her eyes closed as she moaned and she immediately felt his lips press into hers in a very forceful but very delicious way. They kissed passionately. They kissed hard. His tongue dueled with hers and his hands enveloped her shapely ass, squeezing it with such force that she felt painful pleasure. She briefly thought to the bruises she would have tomorrow in the shape of his hands splayed across her curves. At the thought, she kissed him harder, grabbing the lapels of his jacket, nearly choking him.

Temperance was a woman first. A scientist second.


	4. Chapter 4

"Mmm. Bones, you taste so good," Booth groaned as he licked and nipped at her neck, sucking hard. He wanted to brand her. He was blown away by what was occurring as he ground his hips into her, making sure she felt his hard on, making sure she felt he was all man. His hands made their way up her shirt, as he pinched and tweaked her nipples. Bones moaned incoherent words in his ear. She was breathing heavily and practically purring.

She was surprised that he had actually catapulted himself across the line he drew and she wondered if this was just a reaction to being shot again. Brennan wasn't great at the heart stuff, but she knew the human body. She also knew that near death experiences often brought on intense neurological responses, usually feelings of hyper elation and most specifically, increase in libido. The human species is completely geared toward self-preser . . .

"Yes," she gasped, as Booth's mouth somehow made its way up her shirt and was now vigorously sucking at her hardened nipple. Thoughts of anthropology were literally sucked right out of the normally composed Dr. Brennan. Not only was her chest assaulted in a surprise attack, but Booth's fingers managed to find themselves inside her very wet, and very tight core. She began grinding her hips into his hand, grinding her breasts into his mouth. Her right leg had hooked itself around his waist as his lips moved from one breast to the other and his fingers had begun a very enticing "come hither" motion, rubbing their way along her inner walls. She was so close and yet she needed more.

"Booth." She trailed her fingers through his hair. He barely responded with an "mmph" sound as his mouth was obviously busy.

"Booth!" She now tugged at the sides of his head, bringing their eyes to meet. She wanted him inside her and intended on telling him as his gaze met hers, but unfortunately a moment of clarity took over. "Yeah, Bones?" His breathing was quick and his heart rate was clamoring.

He saw it. He saw it the moment he looked at her. She was going to stop this. She was going to become hyper rational and stop the most amazing event that he had ever experienced.

"Booth." Her plea was serious and forlorn. He immediately stilled his hands, but kept his fingers inside of her, almost unwilling to liberate them from the warmest place they had ever been.

"No," he shook his head. She didn't have to say it. He already knew what she was thinking. Of course he did, she thought. She was about to tell him that this was a mistake and unload immense amounts of scientific and anthropological jargon his way until his free hand came up to her lips and effectively stopped her from saying it aloud.

"No," he stated, more forcefully. His fingers within her began to move again, increasing their pace and she couldn't stop herself from moaning. His hand was still on her mouth, she couldn't speak, all she could do was express pleasure. His hand stayed on her mouth and increased its pressure as he began to suck on her earlobe and continued rubbing his fingers inside her, and the palm of his hand began applying delicious pressure on her clit.

He brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "Now you listen to me, Bones" Just to make sure he had her attention, he plunged a third finger inside her. He kept his left hand firmly placed across her mouth, so tightly that all he heard was a guttural moan vibrating from her throat. "I don't need to hear about why you think this is a bad idea and knowing you, your explanation would be obviously anthropological. I know you want this, Bones. No one this wet could say she didn't." She gasped and inwardly cursed her body for reacting to him the way it had. Of course she wanted this. He was sex personified. His face, his body, he was the proverbial package. Not to mention, his abdominal muscles were rock hard and he obviously was well-endowed, at least he felt that way when she had managed to get her hands around his dick from the outside of his clothes just a bit ago. This was Booth. Her Booth. Fuck, did she just think that?

"I take your lack of protest, as assent Bones. Now I know you've been through a lot. And I know you had quite the shock to your system when I got shot back there. And of course your reaction was immediate anger." She tried to defend herself, but he was not letting her speak. Even if his hand hadn't been covering her mouth, she doubted speech was possible, what with his miraculous ministrations to her wet core.

"Bones, you know what I want. You can feel it can't you?" He pressed his erection into her body and managed to get his fingers further up inside her. "So I am going to cut you some slack and I'm not going to take you home with me and make love to you. You aren't ready for that." She couldn't help but feel disappointment, but just as her feelings were being compartmentalized, he surprised her once more.

"Instead, Bones, I'm gonna fuck you against this tree and I am going to prove to you how alive I really am."


	5. Chapter 5

She grew impossibly wet at his words. As soon as he released his grasp from her mouth, she immediately grabbed his head and latched her lips onto his. Why would she deny this pleasure, she thought. For once, she was going to just stop thinking about the how and why of her symbiotic albeit surrogate relationship with him. Her teeth grabbed his lower lip and she drew a bit of blood. All is fair in being fucked against a tree, she mused.

Booth's hand removed itself from within her and he tore off her pants, aggressively and surprisingly quickly. She heard a tear, as he ripped her shirt open and latched on once again to her nipples, alternating between them. He was practically growling and she panted heavily as she had now wrapped both of her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. She forcefully rubbed against his erection. While he busied his mouth with her breasts, he held her with his left hand around the waist and his right hand made it to her ass. He experimented by asserting deep pressure to her anus and ground his hips into hers.

Whether it had been the crass words he had used, or his constant attention to almost all of her erogenous zones, Brennan began to feel the tightening in her belly and before she could warn him, her body became rigid and she became momentarily blind as her orgasm ripped through her. It was a miracle that he didn't just cum all over her in that moment, he thought. He quietly unzipped his pants and shifted them downwards a bit with his boxers.

It would have taken a while before Brennan could fully recuperate from such a strong release, but she was not given rest, because as she was still feeling the aftershocks of her climax, Booth had quickly moved her thong to the side and impaled her with his very engorged phallus.

"Fuuuuck," they both groaned. He could still feel her walls contracting from her climax. She was hot and sticky and swollen and it took all his strength not to lose it right there.

Before he continued to fuck her like he'd promised, he removed both her hands from around his neck, keeping her in place with his cock. He placed them above her atop a tree branch and told her to stay as she was. She willingly obliged.

He grabbed her hips with his left arm, keeping her legs in place around him and began pistoning within her with incredible speed. He was fucking all coherent thought out of her.

"Yes, Booth. Yes," she helplessly pleaded.

"Yeah, you like it rough, Bones?"

"Mmm, yes. Fuck me harder."

He held her tightly and then revisited her anus. This time, he penetrated her tighter hole with his whole finger. She thrashed wildly at the added stimulation and yet miraculously managed to hold on to the branch. His efforts were forceful and yet welcomed as she met each thrust. Every time he slammed his cock inside her, she could feel his balls slap against her, causing added stimulation. She was close again and so she commanded him to piston within her with greater force. He didn't hesitate to do so and he began fucking her as hard as possible, with as much force as possible. Her legs tightened around him as she held on.

Their moans and grunts were guttural, load and constant. The sound of slapping skin began to reverberate throughout the woods. All of a sudden, she screamed and came with such force that her vaginal walls created a vice-like grip.

"Don't you dare cum, Booth. Mmm. FUCK. Don't you dare," she commanded in the throes of pleasure. He took a deep breath and concentrated on not releasing just yet. He tried hard not to concentrate on her erect nipples, darkened by her orgasm and he tried hard not to concentrate on her juices trickling off his balls, her hot and assuredly sweet juices. He also tried hard not to concentrate on her walls' vibrations, as they seemingly tickled his cock into oblivion. No, Booth, tried so hard and he managed to succeed. Far be it from him to disobey the good doctor.

Her legs fell to the ground and her hands grabbed his shoulders. She was ethereal at this moment, he thought. She was serene and satisfied. She wriggled herself from his phallus and looked him straight in the eyes when she said, "Good boy. Now fuck me from behind."


	6. Chapter 6

The moon, he had been told on several occasions, affects the vast oceans of the earth. It's gravitational pull allows such grand bodies of water to rise and fall. The moon has an ethereal quality. People are drawn to it, its light, its mystery.

She had turned around, bent down a bit and began holding the tree on both sides. He noticed that her shirt had torn a bit on the back, from his previous exertion. Booth was paralyzed. He couldn't stop himself from being entranced by the tight, round ass before him. It reminded him of the moon because of its smooth and milky white appearance. It was perfectly round and tight. Its gravitational pull, its mystery, however, kept him entranced and yet he floated towards it, fingers outstretched. The unromantic quality of what he was about to do to that tight little ass of hers did not escape him. But he knew Brennan loved him and he most definitely knew he loved her, so it didn't bother him that their first sexual encounter was so forceful, so far from traditional lovemaking. Nothing with Brennan had ever been traditional and he knew that she needed this. She needed the control and she needed to literally fuck her way out of her pain.

Brennan looked over her shoulder and smirked when she saw him staring at her lower half. After what seemed like forever (and she let him take in the view as long as he wanted), their eyes met. She bent down a bit further, never losing eye contact and reached around to spread her ass cheeks to him, reveling her tight, rosebud shaped anus. This connection broke his earlier spell and he closed the gap between them. His cock was wet and engorged and he rubbed it from her pussy to her ass several times, transferring the milky juices. He grabbed her open shirt, removed it and tossed it aside. He began to trail his left hand up and down her spine, reveling in the goosebumps that he created, while he started to increase pressure to her ass. He dipped the head of his cock in slowly and withdrew. He repeated this motion a few times, allowing the muscles to relax their grip. Each time he penetrated her, she would make noises new to his ears. They were cat-like, almost like a purr. His cock twitched at the sound and his balls tightened. Finally, he thrust deeply into her ass and she screamed in surprise and excitement at both the deep pressure and burning sensation that was hot and tight. Booth groaned. He couldn't believe he was fucking her tight little ass, he thought. He stood still inside her and reached with his right hand around to grab a hold to her clit, while his left hand roamed up to her left nipple. He withdrew his cock and then slowly yet steadily, entered deeply, while tweaking both her nipple and her clit.

Brennan was beside herself. Her body felt as if there were an earthquake about to erupt from all the sensations she was experiencing. His ministrations were slow yet so incredibly intense that she knew that his orgasm would be of seismic proportions. She could feel his phallus pulsating within the tight muscle and her arousal was so apparent, so unforgiving, that she thought she might shatter into a million pieces.

Being careful not to hurt her, Booth increased the pace of entering and exiting her. He wanted to explode, but the tight sensations were so pleasing, that he never wanted it to end. His breathing was incredibly erratic. "So (_thrust) _fucking_ (thrust) _tight, baby_."_ His speed increased again, his cock sliding in and out easily now. His swollen cock stretched her to the limit, her muscles relaxed, allowing him to begin slamming in and out of her with added vigor. She began a steady moan that seemed to have no end. "Yes, Booth. Just like that. Mmm . . feels (_thrust) so (thrust) _fucking (_thrust_) good_." _

"You like that, Bones? You like me fucking (_thrust_) your tight (_thrust_) little (thrust) ass?" Bones responded by wailing a loud, constant new sound. Booth moved both hands to either sides of her hips and continued to penetrate her deeply. The added momentum caused his testicles to begin slapping loudly against her clit. She arched her hips so she could feel the brunt of them stimulating her sensitive nub. Once again, Bones catapulted into climax. She began screaming in pleasure and Booth, by some miracle was able to ride it out without exploding himself. He could feel her vaginal walls rippling through her asshole. His balls suddenly tightened in exquisite pressure.

"Bones, I'm gonna cum. Where do you want me to cum baby?"

"Cum on my back, Booth. I wanna feel it." At her unexpected words, Booth managed to extricate himself from Brennan and he held on to his phallus for what he was sure would be the most intense orgasm of his life. He came with such force, that he was blinded momentarily. Brennan felt his semen shoot out onto her lower back and ass. She reveled in the feeling of making him orgasm so intensely, as he grabbed onto her left hip to keep himself from falling backward. His semen was hot, branding her. Brennan straightened and held her arms around the tree for support. Booth immediately grabbed the tree from behind her as well, sandwiching her. She could still feel his cock pulsating, but most importantly, she felt his strong, virile heartbeat. She leaned back into him as he held her in place. His chin in the crook of her neck. His hot breath caressing her face.

They held on for several minutes, calming down. She finally turned around in his arms, wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her ear to his chest, again reveling in the strong sound of his heart.

They were both alive.

Both so alive.

And she was finally relieved.


	7. Chapter 7

"You're coming home with me," he said. Bones pushed off his chest a bit and looked up at Booth. "Booth, I have to get cleaned up and my clothes are at my apartment so, no."

"You. Are. Coming. Home. With. Me." Booth extricated himself from Bones' grasp and began helping her pick up her disheveled clothes off the ground and fixing his own. Bones was rendered speechless. Who knew Booth was so sexually aggressive, she thought. Perhaps she had finally met her match. Her outstretched fingers accepted her clothes from his grasp. Their fingers briefly touched, causing an electric buzz in her hand. Was it possible after their sexual urges were finally quenched, after all these years, that sexual tension could still exist between them, she thought?

She quickly dressed and straightened her hair. Booth began the walk to his car without further words. He opened the passenger door for her and she slid in the seat. For a brief moment she thought of protesting his chivalric action, but decided against it when her eyes met his. He wordlessly dared her to complain. Wow, sexually satisfied Booth was certainly more alpha-male than sexually frustrated Booth, she realized. Her core pulsed at the thought.

The drive to his apartment was quiet as neither of them spoke. He didn't even put the radio on as he navigated through the streets of D.C. When they arrived, he turned off the car and moved to her side of the vehicle. As he opened the door, she accepted his outstretched hand. He began leading her to his apartment, not allowing her to let go of his hand. She would not admit in that moment that the feel of him leading her to his home, with their fingers interlaced was one of belonging to someone. Although she would not verbalize it, he had branded her. He had taken her body and soul and while his ministrations were not slow and careful but more forceful and vigorous, she felt love emanating from him. She just wasn't ready to hear it and he knew that. She knew that he knew that about her and her heart swelled. He knew what she wanted and needed. They didn't need to say it just yet.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't even process being led into his apartment and into his bathroom. Her conscience thoughts came back to the present when she realized he was crouched on the ground before her, removing her pants and thong in one slow movement. Her breath caught and she balanced herself by grabbing on to his shoulder. He finished with the rest of her clothes and wordlessly began undressing himself. He never left her gaze with his.

When they stood naked before each other, he reached around her to turn on the water. She finally broke his gaze and looked right in front of her. She gasped as she saw the purple welt that had formed from the bullet he was hit with earlier. It was on the exact opposite side of the bullet that he had taken for her. Today's shot was a direct one to his heart. This shot would have been fatal but for the vest.

Before this realization hit her completely, she found herself hoisted into the shower with him. His erection prominent and trapped between them, he grabbed her face and caught his lips with his own.

Their kisses were slow and lazy. Booth never unleashing either her neck or her face. On some level he worried that this entire day was an hallucination, so he refused to let her go. Finally they broke apart and Booth turned her around. He poured shampoo in his hands and slowly washed her auburn locks, massaging her scalp all the while kissing her shoulders. He grabbed his bar of soap and created lather in his hands and he began a slow descent down her body. His fingers lingered on her breasts and tugged at her nipples. He could feel her erratic heartbeat and was grateful when she pressed her back into him, using him as her pillar. When he made it to her clitoris and her folds, he stayed a little longer than necessary to fully clean the area. She moved her hips in time with his ministrations and actually whined when he moved to her back and buttocks. When he had cleaned all of her, she turned towards him and stepped into the spray to rinse off. She took the soap from his hands and decided to return the favor.

She was careful not hurt his welt while she washed his hard chest. She slightly tickled him as she moved to his abdominal area and purposefully avoided his large erection. Stepping closer to him until their chests were fused together, she reached around him to his back to soap him there. She placed strong kisses to his chest and neck as she did this and moved her hands down to his amazing ass. Booth kept his eyes closed and reveled in the heat their bodies generated and focused on her soft but skilled hands as they lightly massaged and cleaned him.

His eyes only opened at the cold sensation of her body having left his, only to find her kneeled down before him, licking her lips and staring slyly at his engorged penis.


	8. Chapter 8

Mmm . . . . appetizing is all she could think of in this moment. She could feel his erratic heartbeat through a large vein in his cock and she grabbed him and slowly sucked him into her mouth. One hand grabbed on to his ass as the other rubbed the base of him up and down while she slid him in and out of her small mouth.

She began to twirl her tongue around his cock all the while suctioning around him. Booth grabbed her by the back of her head and gazed at the beauty on her knees before him. He silently asked her permission and a quick nod was all he needed as he grasped the back of her hair firmly and began thrusting into her mouth. His controlling her only elevated her arousal and she earnestly sucked him harder and began humming. Nearly unraveling, Booth grabbed her even firmer and thrust harder until he hit the back of her throat. Brennan's hand moved from the base of his shaft to his perineum where she began to place increased pressure.

"Yes, Bones. Yes. You are so hot like this. First I get to fuck your tight little ass and now I get to fuck your tight little mouth. You like it, don't you," he asked as his hard thrusts quickened while he firmly controlled the movements of her head. Bones hummed appreciatively. Keeping steady pressure with her one hand, she moved her other to his balls and began kneading them.

"Fuck, Bones. I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum . . .and you're . . . gonna suck . . .me . . . .dry . . ."

Booth froze, keeping enough pressure to stop her from moving with his hand. Bones felt his hot semen shoot into her mouth. She swallowed every drop. Booth loosened his grasp and Brennan unleashed his still erect cock.

He grabbed her hands and lifted her to her feet. Threading his fingers through her hair, he crushed his lips to hers.

"That was amazing, Bones. Thank you."

"Don't worry Booth, you're about to return the favor."


	9. Chapter 9

She came hard against his face . . . again. They didn't make it far after their shower. He now laid on his back in the middle of her hallway, halfway to her bedroom. She sat right on his face as he plunged his tongue right into her over and over again. Her juices began to run down his face . . . .well the juices he managed not to lap up with fervor began to run down his face.

"That feels so good, Booth. God I love this mirror."

Ah, the mirror: the reason they didn't make it to the bedroom quickly enough. After the shower ended and they helped each other towel off, they began the long trek to his bedroom. Their tongues sought each other's mouths, necks, chests. They lapped at each other as if they were sustenance. Brennan grabbed Booth by his once again hardened cock and she slammed him against the wall, directly in front of her large hallway mirror. Booth opened his eyes and was pleasantly assaulted by the perfectly rounded ass he had ravaged earlier and God help him, he grabbed on to her ass cheeks and ground himself into her. Her subsequent moan vibrated down to his constricting balls. He swiftly moved down the length of her body and found her clit and began to suck on it hard. She grasped onto his shoulders then his head and when that seemed unsteady, she placed both hands against the wall as he ground his face into her core as he massaged her ass with his large unyielding hands. Her orgasm ripped through her and she lost all gross motor skill, knees buckling.

Booth quickly laid on the ground and positioned her over his face. Her hands went to his hair and she was immediately mesmerized by the image in the mirror. His cock was upright and attentive, almost as if it were made of hard marble and she, well she was flushed and heaving. From beneath her, she heard a growl as he ground his face into her even harder. "Play with your nipples," he ordered and she obliged, as if she had no other choice. She began to tug at her nipples in time with his tongue, as her hips began to circle above him. She felt like she was going to explode from pleasure and she began to beg for release. Booth's hands climbed up her body and swatted her hands away as he took over teasing her sensitive breasts. At this point, Brennan became a purely reactionary being. There was no rational thought or science. There were only his tongue and his talented fingers. Her orgasm overtook her and she screamed out but he would not stop. Her blubbered responses were mixed pleas to never cease to ardent pleas to end this maniacal torture to her body.

When she was reduced to nothing but gibberish, he finally relented. Instead of the reprieve she expected, he somehow managed to lift her while he scooted up, his back against the wall and facing the mirror. He turned Brennan and moved her legs to straddle him but facing the mirror as well. She froze as he grabbed her hips and speared into her from below. The resounding "ohs" were desperate, hiss-like. He held her firmly, one hand on her hip and one on her jaw holding her head in the direction of the mirror while he whispered, "You'll never forget how perfect it looks when my big cock enters your gorgeous pussy." "Will you," he growled as he held her jaw, ensuring she couldn't look away.

Brennan was still in shock at how beautiful they looked together in this state. Booth then grabbed her on either side of her hips and speared upwards into her while he growled, "Will you?"

"No," she gasped, "I won't forget."

"No you won't baby, because my cock was made for you," as he started a frantic pace, drilling upwards into her, almost as if he wanted to tear through her walls. Brennan surged forward and grabbed hold of his shins as she began to meet each of his thrusts, with an equal frenzied force.

The sound of their slick skin slapping against each other and their quick grunts were the only ones. There was no room for words. There was no description for the perfection in their reflections.


	10. Chapter 10

A strong ray of light hit him right in the face. For a second, Booth didn't know where he was, as he awoke in a familiar room but with an unfamiliar feeling. Brennan was unceremoniously strewn on his chest, her hair fanned out. She was naked, sheets carelessly tossed aside from their last bout of frenzied sex. He let himself enjoy this moment, his lips ghosting over her forehead, afraid that if he actually kissed her she would awaken and frankly, freak out. Last night was an indescribable moment in his life. Indescribable and unfortunately indefinable at the present. His heart beat faster as he began to stress. Her impending consciousness was causing anxiety as to whether he had made the correct decision the night before. He never thought that he would ever be intimate with her. He thought of it almost every day, almost every night. His love life suffered because of it. He didn't want to settle for anything less, but he always fretted that she would never return his feelings. And on some level, Seeley Booth had resigned himself to living alone, feeling alone and enduring her constant string of boy toys. The torture he'd endured in life was laughably minimal compared to the way his heart ached at the sight of her getting ready and dolled up for another man. But he continued to swoon after her. He continued to love her because he had no other choice. Having dinners and coffees together, dragging her to crime scenes and late night thai were enough to keep him going, not enough to be fully happy, but enough.

He had been rough with her last night. They both needed it to be that way. Death and destruction, loss and violence summed up their environment, so their first encounters were about surviving. They had shed more blood for each other in the past than he could deal with and yet they clung to each other, rocking hard and desperately together. They had survived so much together and he wondered if they were strong enough to survive this. The moments they made eye contact while they were desperately trying to bring the other to climax, were full of fear, trust, joy, anger and he hoped love. God he hoped love. If she woke up, without love in her eyes, without joy, his heart could not possibly recover.

And so he forced his lips to not make contact with her skin, he concentrated on her deep and almost imperceptible breathing for signs of awakening and Seeley Booth began to pray. He prayed for love.


	11. Chapter 11

She was draped over his chiseled chest when her eyes opened for the first time this morning. His divine smell permeated her senses. She knew he was awake. She knew that he was tense. She may not read people well but she knew him.

Now.

Now, she knew all of him.

She finally understood all of the looks, the touches. Her mind reeled as almost every moment they've shared together over the years raced through her brain like pages of a book. She remained as still as possible, willing her breath to remain even, so that he wouldn't know that her brain was processing at lightening speed.

This wasn't a simple situation. She knew that for Booth, this morning would be a defining moment. The only moment. What was it for her? Booth was her best friend. She thought of him when he wasn't near, she could feel his palm guiding her lower back through life, even if he wasn't beside her. She carried him with her wherever she went. Brennan couldn't help but smile at that thought. Booth really permeated everything, even her usage of metaphor. As if it were possible to carry him every where. Her lips began to hitch into a small smile at the thought until she realized that her lips were brushing his chest. He would know she was awake and she wasn't ready to face him yet. She had to make a decision.

She just had to be sure. Could it have just been a biological need for him? Again, near death experiences often caused increase in libido. Flashes of last night began and she tensed. He had dominated her last night in many ways. He had talked and acted aggressively, most likely leaving marks all over her body. But his eyes. His eyes were wild most of the night, but once in a while, there was a spark of something more. There was a tenderness she had never seen in the eyes of a lover. Something unfamiliar and yet comforting.

They always called her the ice queen. Throughout her adult life, she kept people at a distance, and built some incredibly impermeable walls. These walls were magnificent. They were built brick by brick, laid carefully from the bottom up. Each disappointment laid one upon the other. Each travesty cementing it together. There were holes, certainly. She would sometimes let people peak. Some would try to talk her out of her fortress, like Angela. And some would approach, drill the hole and somehow manage to trick her into believing in him, but it always ended badly.

But Booth? He sat outside her walls, leaning his head back and kept her company. He just talked to her about life, about nothing, about pie. He would never leave her, no matter how cold she'd be. She would sit too at times: her back against the brick, exactly from where he was on the other side. He'd just let her be but once in a while . . . . once in a while he'd close his eyes, sigh and reassure her. He would assure her that she was smart, beautiful, worth it, and once he even told her she was special. In retrospect, she realized that he was always sad when he told her these things. Sure, he'd be smiling, but his eyes couldn't hide that he was sad for her. It wasn't pity exactly, but it was a complex emotion. Perhaps regret? For a mere moment, when he told her she was special, she wanted to bang against the merciless walls. But she never willed them whole-heartedly to crumble, because a short time before telling her she was special, he finally did what they all did. He abandoned her.

The blood wouldn't relent as it pumped out of him. It just wouldn't relent. And then there was nothing. She stood in her fortress and for the first time, wished to waste away into nothing. She wanted to be enveloped in the absence of light. She wanted him to magically reappear and claim her as his own. And then she hated herself for thinking something so irrational, so impossible.

When he was resurrected (figures for a Catholic, she smirked), she felt nothing, because she had already withered away. Every bit of humanity he had nourished with his words and his patience was gone. Indifference, the absence of all emotion. She'd wrapped herself up in it, had been strangled by it. Brick and blanket, working together to fight off all feeling.

Or so she thought. Or so she hoped.

Brennan wasn't an ice queen. She was the absence of light, because of him.

Her breathing stopped and his hitched. It was time.

Fight or flight.


	12. Chapter 12

"I'm afraid of you, Booth," she sighed. "Losing you to a bullet wound was the worst thing that ever happened to me. And, I must say, I've been through more than the average person." She hadn't moved from his chest, her eyes facing away from him.

Fearing she was about to leave, Booth held her in place. His heart clenched and stilled, as he braced himself for the very real conversation that was about to occur.

"I know you love me. I know that your definition of love fits your feelings for me."

His breathing becomes ragged.

"Sometimes I'm afraid I'm too damaged, too dead inside to ever let you in completely. Things between us could have been different before your death, before Sully, before Cam, before the gravedigger. We've been through so much together, that a life without you in it would be unbearable. But other times I feel as if a life with you in it is unbearable as well. It's as if you have integrated yourself into every facet of my life without actually committing to me because of that fucking line. I hate you for that line. You were a fool for putting it in place. You were a coward for not going after the object of your love. I see that now, you know. . .you've loved me this whole time and yet you let me flounder through terrible relationships, allowed me to look for shallow replacements. You forced me to be alone. You made it so I could never be happy and a part of me hates you for that, Booth."

The tears begin to run down his face.

"How do you expect me to trust you whole-heartedly when you have done nothing but cause me loneliness and loss? How can I commit to you knowing that one day one of us is going to let the other one down by perishing? I wouldn't wish the anguish I felt during your death on anyone. It tore me apart and when you came back, it got put back together somehow, but I don't know if I managed to pick up every piece. There are parts of me that are missing. Parts of me that I lost along the way because of you."

Booth stayed dumbstruck and immobile. He closed his eyes as he felt his heart break. He slowly shifted her weight off of him. Never making eye contact, he got up and began making his way into the other room.

Brennan sat up and shifted to the end of the bed. Keeping her back to him, she said, "I love you too. I've known it for years and I will love you for the rest of my life."

Booth then walked out of the room.


	13. Chapter 13

He was an asshole. Such a terrible, terrible asshole, he thought.

Booth sat on the front steps of his apartment building. He wanted to run. For the first time, he wanted to run away from the woman who had utterly consumed every one of his thoughts, his desires. He was too big of a pussy to do anything about it, he mused.

How could he have completely missed how she felt? He never thought he was good enough, and his so-called amazing people skills failed him because he couldn't conceive of her ever wanting to lower herself to be with him. She deserved better than that, he thought. She deserved someone who was strong enough to be with her. Someone who wasn't so insecure to think that he wasn't good enough.

He wasn't good enough.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Brennan stood behind him when she spoke, causing him to jump at the surprise of her presence.

"Bones, I . . . .Bones," he restarted, "I am so sorry. So sorry about everything."

"What are you sorry about Booth? Are you sorry for last night? Because if you are, I might just have to kill you," she smirked.

Booth was at a total loss for words. This woman was really going to be the death of him. One moment she's running, another moment she's writhing beneath him, the next she's telling him how he destroyed her and now she's making jokes.

"No. I'm not sorry for yesterday. Bones, I am a coward. I've done nothing but fuck everything up. Bones, I love you. I've loved you so long now that I don't even remember a time when I didn't."

Brennan sat next to him, he reaches out and grabs her hand and cradles it in his own.

"I didn't ever believe that I could be enough for you. That's why I never expressed my interest in you. I have so much baggage, so much anger and so much pain, that I know you deserve someone more stable, someone without as much emotional scar tissue. But then I think, we are both so different and yet so similar, that we could be together and be happy but then you would tell me you didn't believe in love. It was so hard being in love with you when you said things like that. I thought that if my love was worthy of you, you would open your eyes to the possibility that you could love me. It's not just about chemicals and hormones. Please, please tell me you see that."

"I do," she stated solemnly.

"Bones, about my getting shot . . . what's done is done. I can't change what you went through. I wouldn't have survived it if the tables were turned. I would have been broken too. I can not express how sad I am that I hurt you. I can't fix it, Bones. We can never promise not to die on one another. Life is just so fragile. But I can promise never to leave you, as long as I'm alive."

Brennan sighed in relief. When he had left her in the room, she was struck with the notion that since she had been running from him for so long, she never realized that he was always running away too. She had to put an end to both of their behavioral patterns or they were both going to eventually go mad. Brennan knew that Booth was the only person she could ever commit too. He embodied all that she needed. He wanted to keep her safe, wanted to keep her as an equal and she wouldn't be the genius she was if she didn't realize that he adored her whole-heartedly. She needed to tell him how she really felt, no matter how much it hurt. But, she thought, the beauty of a pure friendship is being honest and moving forward. There was no doubt in her mind that they would make it through this and keep their friendship in tact. But so much baggage, as Booth had called it, had been collected over the years by both of them, that she wasn't entirely certain they were ready to engage in a relationship.

Brennan's eyes began to glisten as she realized that it wasn't their time yet. She wasn't sure if it ever would be.

"We're not ready for this, Booth. I'm so sorry. I don't regret this having happened. It was amazing," the smile forming on her lips was sad and small.

"God, Bones. I don't want to be with anyone else. It hurts so badly to know how well we go together, in every sense, and then not be able to touch you, to lie next to you every night."

"Booth, come back inside." She tugged at his hand. "Make love to me, Booth. One last time."

She got up, never releasing his hand and tugged him gently up towards her. He willingly obliged. She stood up on her toes and brushed her lips against his.

He closed his eyes at her next words. "I'm sorry if my words hurt you, but they needed to be said. But I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. One day we'll figure it out."

He wanted to make love to her. He wanted to show her that she belonged no where else except with him. But Booth knew that their wounds were still too fresh. That's what had kept them apart all these years. Tears streamed down both their faces as they made it back inside.

He captured her lips in his own with fervor. He lifted his dress shirt she was wearing off of her. Their lips connected again and their arms entangled. Making it back to his bedroom, he let their bodies fall together in a heap.

He hovered above her and watched her as her cerulean eyes never left his. He leaned down and kissed her neck, behind her ear and down her throat. His tongue swept across the expanse of her chest. He slowly sucked at her nipples. Her gasps mingled with small sighs and almost imperceptible sobs. His body trembled at the thought that this would be the last time he could have her: at least for now. He moved his mouth back up to her throat, her lips. He placed feather light kisses on each wet eyelid. She helped him push down his pants.

"I love you, Bones. I'll always love you. You know that, right?"

"Yes, I do. I do . . . so much."

He entered her slowly as he looked at her. He began a slow thrusting pace and she wrapped her legs around him and tangled her fingers in his hair. Their chests fused together as their lips did as well. The fire in her belly slowly burned. She felt his love with every thrust, every kiss.

As they approached release, she held on to him even tighter, whispering yeses, murmuring sounds of pleasure. His pace quickened as his thrusts deepened. He brought his hand between them and began rolling her clit between his fingers. She moaned in pleasure as her orgasm began in her feet and eventually exploded to her brain. Warmth filled her body as he filled her as well.

He stayed on top of her, laying his head on her chest. Her fingers lazily traced patterns in his scalp and back. They fell asleep, tears still streaming.

When he awakened hours later, she was gone.


	14. Chapter 14

Alone at Christmas. No Parker. No Bones. The bottle of scotch his only consolation. His eyes were dark. As consciousness slipped away, so did the memory of her smell, the memory of her taste.

Brennan sat at the edge of a massive grave. The arid atmosphere made her feel hollow. Her legs swung over the edge of the large pit. She had identified hundreds of human remains over the last few months. She'd kept herself busy, because that's how she coped. That's how she had always coped. Gazing at the now empty expanse, she closed her eyes. There were no tears left to shed.

Thousands of miles and months apart, and yet they both felt the other's skin beneath once frenzied fingers.


	15. Chapter 15

_4 months ago. The Monday after . . ._

"Hey Bones."

She looked up from her desk and smiled meekly. "Hi Booth."

He handed her the coffee he'd brought. Their fingers brushed.

"How was your Sunday?"

"I finished grading the final papers for the Summer term and edited a couple of chapters of a new book I'm writing."

"Good. You must be glad you finished those."

"Yes."

"So, what's the deal? You want to talk about what happened over the weekend or are you just going to pretend it never happened?" He'd promised he would not get irritated over this situation. After she'd left, he must have dialed her number a hundred times, but never had the courage to press send. Turmoil wasn't the proper word to describe the state of his emotions. There were no words to describe how is stomach felt twisted and his heart felt still, almost lifeless.

"Booth. I already told you how I feel. I love you. I will never deny my feelings for you. I'm tired of doing it. I'm always going to be honest with you from now on. I can not and will not run from my emotions regarding us. Just . . . I just need time. I can't see myself with anyone but you. We've had this connection for so long now, that I can't undermine it. But I have a lot to work through. You deserve someone intact. Someone who can be there for you. Someone stable and most certainly someone you can depend on and won't run from things that scare her."

He knelt before her and took her hands in his. "Bones, but we should be able to work through it together. That's part of a relationship: helping each other, leaning on each other."

"That's easy for you to say because you think I'm withdrawing. But you said so yourself that you didn't think you deserved me. You have to work on your issues too. They're _your_ issues. I will not interfere with them. These are issues you've carried on your shoulders before you even met me. Please, Booth, please just give me time. Give yourself time. And then one day, I hope, there will be time for us."

He buried his head in her neck and she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

He knew she was right. As much as it pained him, he knew that they needed a bit of space to reflect. If things had been stable all these years, they would have gotten together sooner. He was sure of it.

"So now what, Bones? What do you want me to do? Forget everything and work together, pretending that this weekend never happened? I can't forget, Bones, and neither can you."

"You're right. I don't want to forget. Please don't think that I would ever want to forget anything about you. But before our partnership, I did things on my own all the time, so I think that it's time for me to take a sabbatical. There is a dig in the Middle East I'd like to work on and I think that a few months apart will be good for us."

His initial instinct was to see red, to get angry, to accuse her of running, to call her a coward. "You're running."

"No. I promise you that this is not running. It's the time I need to get my thoughts together, Booth. I promise you, I will be back by the end of January."

****************************************************************************************************

_Present._

Booth woke up on his couch. His brain felt like jello. Dehydrated and in pain, he stumbled to the bathroom and vomited. He drank way too much last night. Being alone at Christmas was too much for him. As painful as these months had been without her, the holidays were worse.

He dreamt of her last night for the first time since she left. He imagined her alone in the desert. She was desolate and empty in his dream.

He'd given her the space she wanted, but he couldn't stand it any longer. The few emails they sent back and forth while she'd been away were not enough. They never actually said anything. Sure, they sent each other words, but they were devoid of emotion or meaning. She'd emailed yesterday, wishing him a Merry Christmas. Merry, my ass, he thought. Nothing was merry without her. Parker was his saving grace, but when his soul mate was on the other part of the world, he couldn't help but feel so utterly alone when his son went back to his mother.

Booth had spent so much energy being depressed over his Ranger days, his gambling days, his childhood days. Too much energy expelled on trying to make up for the past, that his future was never given as much effort. He realized that his future was always on hold, as he tried to repent for things already said and done. Every murderer convicted was meant to delete a transgression from the past. It never counted towards a positive for his future. So when he acted, it never affected his future. He understood this now. He understood that he needed to let go of all of it, not forget it, but let go. He'd been stuck in one place for too long. He'd been still for a long time.

Seeley Booth was ready to move.


	16. Chapter 16

_I am so sorry about the delay. I got so many great reviews that I freaked out because I just knew I couldn't live up to the expectations of the readers. But without the support of blc and i am lady liberty, I would never have tried to start this back up again. Thanks so much guys._

______________________________________________________________________

December 26.

Evening.

He packed as he called airline after airline, trying to find a flight. He quickly realized that he wasn't going to get there in the next day. Getting all the way to the Middle East was quite a feat when one tried to do it last minute. Even an internet search was too difficult in this case. But he didn't care. With strong resolve he headed towards his door.

Fuck it, he thought. He'll just go straight to Dulles and find a way. No way he was going to give up now. He grabbed the door handle and pulled with all his frustration and barreled into his hallway.

Strong chest met startled softness.

He instinctively wrapped his arms around her. He hadn't even looked down and yet knew it was her.

"Of course it's you. Why wouldn't it be?"

______________________________________________________________________

"If you knew it was me, why did you almost knock me over?"

"Ironic," he murmured. Cliche,' he thought.

Instantly his lips were on hers. They were insistent and unrelenting. She gasped for air, but he refused to let her breathe. She lost any breath she had when he slammed her against the wall. He felt amazing. She knew she had made the right choice. Being far from him wasn't the antidote to the illness within her. It just made her feel lifeless and purposeless. She had emailed him from her airport layover in Europe. She wished him a Merry Christmas, because she knew the holiday was important to him. She didn't wish to tell him she was on her way back to him, because she thought the surprise would be appreciated. The way he was ravishing her with his mouth at the moment, affirmed her suspicions.

Minutes passed and finally a clearing of the throat brought him to a stop. "Good evening, Seeley."

"Hi Mrs. Weathers," never moving his eyes from hers. Mrs. Weathers the entered the apartment next to them, half smiling and half shaking her head.

He released his grasp, bent down to get his bag, and swiftly ushered her inside.

Not a single word is spoken when he follows her to his bedroom.

She stands at the foot of his bed, facing the headboard. He comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her. He then begins to unbutton her blouse, slowly and while trailing his fingers down the newly-exposed flesh. A tear falls between her breast and its twin falls onto her shoulder. Both sets of eyes are watering with need, with joy, with pure emotion.

He kisses the column of her neck and finally her torso is freed of the cotton. He removes her bra and then kneads her breasts. Her pants are unbuttoned and fall to the ground. Booth quickly removes his shirt and shifts his pants downwards. Brennan moves forward and rests her upper body onto the bed, belly and palms down. Booth enters her slowly and he folds over on top of her, sealing them together. She shifts her cheek towards him, to give him better access to her neck, her lips, her eyelids as his lips ghost over each part, all the while, he gently and slowly rocks himself in and out of her. His hands come to lock onto hers, fingers intertwining.

He nestles his nose into the crook of her neck. They feel each other's tears rubbing together. As their tongues reach for each other, they taste salt and sweet. Her orgasm builds slowly and releases gently as he cums inside her. He doesn't move. He revels in their closeness and the feel of him overtaking her small frame makes her feel at home. And so they stay this way for a time, breathing softly and sighing.


	17. Chapter 17

Minutes later and yet they remain sealed together. Booth is unwilling to remove himself from atop her. Their intertwined fingers grasp each other more forcefully. Both sets of hands ache, but neither will let go.

It was too much. Too, too much. Their distance crushed them both and while they were finally back in his bed, they still felt a suffocating loneliness.

"Why am I still so sad, Booth? Why do I still feel like I'm lost? Why do you still feel like you're thousands of miles away from me?" Brennan's whispered confessions make his heart ache.

"I don't know, Bones. All I know is that I don't want you to ever leave again."

He turns her over to face him and then gently lifts her up towards his pillows. Her thighs automatically spread for him and he nestles between them. He remains soft and spent.

Propping himself on his elbows, he grabs both sides of her face and rests his forehead to hers. "I missed you so much. I can't even tell you how much my life sucks without you in it."

"I missed you," her voice a child-like whisper.

"I was coming to get you. To tell you that I was ready to leave my past behind and was ready to focus on everything in my life now and ready for whatever future God wants for me. I was coming to tell you that my life is so empty without you. And it has nothing to do with this," he nudges her center with his growing erection. "This," another nudge and blood begins to go to her core, "is awesome but us, we're so much more. You are so much more."

Not giving her a chance to respond, both out of fear and longing, his mouth covers her own and he thrusts his hips to hers, entering her quickly, powerfully. Entering roughly, passionately, almost as if he wanted to pin her to him forever. He continues a deep thrust in her core, as he kisses her neck, plunders her mouth. Her ever-long legs wrap around him tightly. She begins to grunt, to moan, to welcome whatever he wanted to give her.

"Yes, Booth. Harder.

I need it to hurt.

I need to feel.

I've felt nothing for so long.

Please.

Please let me feel you."

His thrusts are deep and forceful. They need it to be like this. They both crave hard and fast, not soft and slow. He fucks her hard. His headboard slamming with every thrust. He roughly grabs one of her nipples as she begins to moan, as she begins tighten around him. Right as she's about to flutter around his cock, he forces her up and on top of him. He's kneeling and holding her up and then pulling her down hard and fast on him, and she cums violently. He grabs a nipple in his mouth and simultaneously sucks hard on it and he begins to thrust into her from below. He is wild and manic, unable to stop, unable to stop fucking her senseless. He wants her to know that he's the only one who can make her feel whole and whole for her is when he and only he is pistoning inside her. She cums again, her walls attempting to milk him, but Booth is too far gone to cum.

He lifts her off him and flips her again, securing her hands around the edge of his headboard and enters her from behind. His hands come to rest and cling on top of hers as he fucks her hard from behind. Brennan is beside herself.

"Do you feel this? Do you feel my cock inside you? Is this what you want, baby. Can . . . .you . . . .feel . . . . this?

Her eyes are glazed, breathing jagged and yet she answers him. "Yes, baby. Yes. You feel so good. It just feels so good. Too good, too good, too good." She chants this over and over again, until finally he shows her mercy and cums deep and hot inside her. They fall over to the side, with him still inside, unwilling to let go quite yet.

Breathing erratically, they revel in each other's heartbeats. Finally, everything slows and she turns to him. She begins to trace the features of his face, carefully and without feather-light touches. She knows that she's loved him for as long as she remembers and is disappointed in herself for having not been strong enough to tell him earlier, before the events of their past made them dysfunctional and scared. But no more. What spurred her to action and come home was a dream she'd had in the desert.

"I came home because I don't want you to be with anyone else, Booth. Ever. You are mine." She pokes him gently in the chest at this declaration of possession. "I had a dream a couple of nights ago. I was in a church, walking down the aisle. You were at the altar with a priest with a huge grin on your face. I was so happy to see you that I picked up the pace. As I was about to reach you, I realized you weren't smiling at me. You were smiling at someone behind me. Just then, everyone in the church stood up and I looked back. What I saw paralyzed me. A veiled woman in a wedding dress was coming towards us and you were looking at her with so much happiness that I nearly fell at your feet. But you didn't see me. You only saw her."

Booth began to smile at her confession but she ignored him and continued. "You. Are. Mine. All of you. I can't allow you to be with anyone else, Booth. You are mine, all mine." At this he chuckles. And grabs her tighter as she tries to wriggle free, annoyed at his laughing at her.

"You are an ass Seeley Booth. I tell you something so personal and you laugh?"

"Yes and no, Bones. Yes and no. God I love you so much. I'm laughing because I'm happy you are here but also because no matter how far you've been, I've affected your dreams and you actually had an irrational reaction to something that was just a dream. And no, I'm not laughing for sharing something personal. I'm just so glad you came all this way to be here. And I promise you, Bones, that I will never marry anyone but you."

As the realization hits her, Brennan begins to protest. "Wait. No. I didn't mean I was going to be marry . . hmph."

He stops her with a deep and loving kiss.


	18. Chapter 18

"What about all the things we talked about before you left? I can't change the past, Bones. I can't change how I hurt you."

They had been in bed for a while together. Booth had wrapped his large frame around her small one, caressing her quietly, softly. Brennan comfortably laid against him while he touched her, reveling in the feel of his breath on her face and his fingers dancing across her skin.

"It would be irrational of me to think that we could change the past. I told you Booth. I will not stand for you being with someone else and it is too painful for me to be without you. Ultimately, I think that we have a deep bond unlike I've ever experienced. Most of all though, Booth, we are best friends and have been for years. It would be a pity to give up on everything we've been through together. That is where we were mistaken. I was mistaken. I thought the past would ruin our future. I accused you of living in the past, but I was doing the same thing."

Booth was moved. He had no eloquent words, but while squeezing her tightly he whispered, "You are my best friend, Bones. Always have been. You always will be. We will work through this. I don't want anything more than us being together as long as possible. I think we both deserve that, Bones. We deserve this connection. We've been alone for so long and I know that if we stayed apart, we would never be happy. With us Bones, it's simple: We _have_ to make this work. I can't have anyone else in my bed and in my heart but you. You take up all the space in my world."

"And that's why I think that we should just . . . .get over ourselves and move on together."

"Get over ourselves? Aw, Bones you _are_ learning slang!"

She slaps him playfully on his arm. "Seeley Booth, you realize that your charming looks are the only things saving you from being beaten right now. And the fact that you've literally fucked all the energy out of me tonight."

His eyes darken at her crass words and his penis stirs.

"No, Booth. I'm starving. Tell your amazing cock to just relax while you feed me."

"Bones, you have no idea how much I can use those words against you right now."

Realization of his implication hits her, "Booth, I would love to suck you right now, but I need actual nourishment. Be a good boyfriend and get me some good Thai food." With that she abruptly leaves him dumbfounded on the bed, a sly smile on her face, as she walks to the kitchen.

Did she just call me her boyfriend? Booth jumps out of bed and nearly crashes into her as she reaches for the phone. He grabs her tightly around the shoulders and shakes her lightly.

"Did you just call me your boyfriend?"

"What? You think I would travel across half the world for just a booty call?"

"Bones, you know that dream that made you come back to me? Did any part of you want to be the girl in the veil?" Booth stood firm and held her gaze.

"What? You think I would travel across half the world for just a booty call?"

And then he got down on one knee.

The end.


End file.
